I think I’ve heard “Sorry for the mess” a thousand times throughout my life already, and I’m only 28. I remember my mom frantically rushing us kids to vacuum, wipe down the counters, put laundry and toys away, and hide all our mess before any company came over when we were growing up. We complied, of course, but why did we have to hide the fact that we lived there? I understand wanting a clean house, and sometimes having people over helps motivate you to get a few more housekeeping to-do’s crossed off your list, but living is messy. Half the time, she would still apologize to the company about the state of our household, all while we’re sweating from getting the vacuum up the stairs.
More recently, I’ve noticed a trend of people apologizing when they are online. They hop on a video on Instagram or a Zoom call, immediately apologize for the way their hair looks or their lack of makeup, and then continue on with what they intended to say. As if I, the viewer, has the right to judge them on the way they’re choosing to show up. As if I, the viewer, is superficial and even cares about their appearance and not their insight. As if I, the viewer, defines their worth.
I define my worth, and Jesus defines my worth, and spoiler alert, I AM worthy no matter how my hair is choosing to behave. “There is deliverance from judgment because the Prince of this world has already been judged,” John 16:11. We can live in a judgment-free zone when we choose to show up in our own lives, whether that’s inviting company over to our homes, presenting on a Zoom call, or walking into the gym for the first time in a while (hello, new year!).
Things to stop saying sorry for:
• The state of your appearance
• The way your house looks
• Being busy and owning your time
• Keeping a boundary for yourself
• Asking for something you need
• Showing emotions
• Letting go of things that don’t serve you
It’s not just about apologizing for your messy hair or messy home. It goes deeper than that. Don’t show up in your life and automatically start apologizing. Don’t let the fear of judgment keep you from showing up in your own life. You deserve to take up space and come as you are.
Let us pray...
Lord, thank you for reminding me I am worthy. Help me to focus on the things that are meaningful and lasting, sharing your love by showing up for others. Thank you for providing peace of mind and heart to live in your full acceptance – just the way I am.